dorothy-cotton:

a humanstuck AU where all the troll’s pre-scratch ancestors are their older siblings and their post-scratch ancestors are their parents

everyone wonders why eridan is such a huge douche and then one day like sollux goes to his house and big brother cronus touches his butt on the way in and plays him a song called aquasex renegade, then his weird, pirate themed dad barges into the room wielding a harpoon and muttering something about whaling 

and eridan explains that he’s not actually whaling he’s just going down to the basement to shoot at rats

and sollux is like

wow

everything about you is suddenly so clear to me

An Important Discussion About Eridan, Fanon!Eridan, And PreScratch Ampora

kamdensl:

Since the minigame is available for everyone to play, I will repost my Ampora rant.

When the spoilers about the aforementioned character sprung up, I got really excited!  And, of course, excellent comic ideas immediately came to my mind.  Then, I left my apartment for an hour or so, and returned to see beyond the initial excitement over said character to find…something must less desirable.

Before I talk about Cronus, I want to discuss Eridan a bit first.  I was initially hyped over the possibilities of Eridan’s PreScratch because of how Aranea described Beforus.  I personally view Eridan’s story as a sociological cautionary tale, and its really interesting to think about how his lofty position in society essentially set him up for failure in the long run.  He grew up having everything he could ever want (without the heavy responsibility of having tyrian blood) and was told that he was a prince since day one.  Which, of course, bloated his ego and molded his extremely unhealthy worldviews, because he was told that he was “perfect,” being a purple-blooded seadweller.  Everyone is born with personal flaws and vices, but we can only try to amend our faults if we know they exist.  Eridan refused to believe that he could be imperfect or wrong, because he had purple blood.  He was raised to be “hostile to landwellers” like all of the other seadwellers (according to Gamzee, they all were hostile). 

He had riches and power, not because he earned them through great accomplishments, but because he was born with gills.  He had everything handed to him on a golden platter…until everything he had was ripped from underneath him.  No character lost more in the death of Alternia than Eridan did, and I’m not just talking about his breakups.  The Hemospectrum became defunct and meaningless.  None of his friends visited him.  He lost his moirail and was still pained from the loss of his kismesis.  He lost the society that praised him as perfection and noble.  And he never learned how to handle such great difficulty and disappointment, because his life was so easy before Sgrub.  He couldn’t change himself, because he never had to before.  And his ensuing plunge into insanity and nihilism, I think, is one of the many social commentaries of Homestuck, and one that I think is too often ignored.  He had nothing, so nothing mattered to him anymore.  Eridan was born with flaws, like everyone else, but life at the top of the Hemospectum on the Condesce’s Alternia amplified his flaws and turned him into a bad egg.  But he still cared about Feferi and his friends, even if he wasn’t necessarily a good person, and there was still time for him to grow up and change.  But Sgrub was the last straw that made him crack and release the ugliness that was built up from a horrid system. 

As I said before, I believe that everyone is born with both good and bad in them.  But it is what we learn from our experiences, upbringing, circumstances, etc that lead us to become good people despite our flaws… or bad people despite our merits.  And that is what Eridan’s story means to me, and I was hoping that Cronus Ampora would be an opportunity for us to see what Eridan could have been in a loving, nurturing Alternia.  One in which he is raised to use his purple-blooded gifts to help others, and to not be violent to others.  I mean, look how different Aranea and Meena are to Vriska and Feferi.  While they have similar personality traits, they ended up as completely different people.

And then, I read that Cronus said “nyeh,” and my heart sank a bit, because I knew that mean Hussie was taking the “Cronus will be fanon!Eridan” route.  Which disappointed me at first, because I hate fanon!Eridan.  But, when I read a bit more, I was okay with it, because Eridan and Cronus had very obvious differences, and he had a bit of a charm to him.  And so, I got more excited about him, and I started to think of great jokes about how he and Eridan would NOT get along very well (and hilarity ensues).  Because honestly, militant, violent, agitated, tool Eridan would not like the sensitive, whiny, laid-back, artist Cronus.  And I thought it was awesome.

Until I read the Cronus/Mituna conversation.  And thus, Cronus went back to being a character I hate.  That’s disgusting, trying to take advantage of a person with a disability.  While I love many villainous characters, I do draw the line at certain things.  This is one of them.  I’m not saying that it would be wrong for people to enjoy Cronus’s character (that would make me a hypocrite as a fan of many, many villainous characters), because there are people who probably enjoy the hilarious or entertaining parts of his character enough to mitigate the ableism.

As much as I am still cringing over that scene and lamenting over the missed possibility of alternate!Eridan, a part of me appreciates the fact that Hussie is using Cronus to point out fanon!Eridan for what it is.  Or, the two fanon!Eridans.  I say “two” because there is one side of the fandom that makes Eridan out to be some overly sensitive, cuddly, weenie, precious babbu, and another side of the fandom that depicts Eridan as an lustful sex offender who only thinks about pailing.  Both of these fanon!Eridans are so far off the mark. 

Eridan is not the precious weenie some fans want him to be.  The first time he was mentioned in Homestuck, he was the “especially powerful and influential member of the nautical aristocracy” that Vriska was in cahoots with.  In his first true appearance, we see him kill a whale with a massive gun.  He is then described as an aspiring conqueror with a penchant for genocide.  He was always a deadly killer, and not just because he was helping feed two massive lusii.  His quadrant and friendship woes were meant to throw us off from the fact that he was, indeed, always a dangerous person.  So that we would be surprised when he killed Feferi and Kanaya, despite the warning signs.

Eridan is not a sex-crazed pervert either.  Yes, he did hit on his friends, I’m not going to be one of those people who will deny it, but I think we need to look at his actions in perspective.  He was desperately looking for relationships not for love or sex, per se, but for his self-absorbed need to have the status of “filled quandrants.”  He never mentioned buckets or anything like that.  He wanted quadrant purely for egotistical reasons, because he felt that he was awesome, and why was it so hard for everyone to see that?  Shouldn’t a noble high blood like himself be doing better than this?  I think he truly did love Feferi and black-hate Vriska, but after those breakups, he was desperately trying to fill in those gaps with ANYONE.  Because trolls were suppose to have all of those relationships to properly fit into troll society, right?  Also, Eridan was a huge ATTENTION-SEEKER.  He put up all of those dramatic theatrics to get attention, and Feferi implied that his “genocide ambitions” were a ruse to get Vriska’s attention and to keep her in his life.  Eridan was very needy, and he wanted to be at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

But now, Cronus manifests the characteristics of both fanon!Eridans.  I just hope this means that fans will release all of their “nyeh” and “wweh“‘s and “fill my buckets” onto Cronus, and let Eridan finally be Eridan.  Which would work out perfectly, because I don’t like Cronus, I don’t like either fanon!Eridan, but I enjoy the heck out of Eridan. :)

Oh, there was that otherkin thing with Cronus too (or “humankin”), I have no idea where that comes from?  I haven’t seen fanon!Eridan as an otherkin, so maybe Hussie just wanted to add in a jab at otherkins somewhere in the minigame.

I think I’ll still make two comics about Eridan meeting Cronus, in the end.  I still really want to tell those jokes, but I’ll be less kind to Cronus that I would’ve been before.

Homestuck meets The Lion King

conniiption:

zidane1862:

Wwhat do you wwant me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?

LUAU!

Are your wwishin’? 
Glub, glub, glub 
For some fishin’? 
Glub, glub, glub 
She’s a big fish. 
Glub, glub 
You can be a big fish too. Oi!

CA: i can see wwhat’s happenin 
CA: they don’t havve a clue 
CA: they’ll fall in lovve and here’s the bottom line; 
CA: our trio is down to twwo

CAAAN YOU FEEEEL THE GLUB TONIGHT

(captions from Anon comments on ib.skaia.net. They were too hilarious not to add!)

This is beyond beautiful.  Omg, Mufasa!Tavcestor.  My heart.

(Source: ib.skaia.net)